... the road to July!

29 April, 2007

I want my kid to do this.

Whatever I’m writing here is just an observation. I do not have any personal experience; therefore, I’ve strong reasons to evaluate the situation wrongly.

It was a short time back I observed a person or should I say a contemporary father getting annoyed over the misdeeds of an under 3 daughter. A father who says & believes in giving space to each other suddenly reached his peak of temper & seemed to lose control; result is that the daughter, who doesn’t understand so many gestures today got confronted to something our generation has grown up with - a ‘slap’.

This indeed isn’t something that God designed us to feel good about, so I infer that she too did not feel at all good about it. Tears in her eyes & the loud cry were actually enough to justify that. Father has good amount of reasoning to which I agree too. The daughter was becoming mischievous, drifting towards a state where kids start to understand that it is okay even if they do not follow what has been directed to them. And she actually started to become notorious. Inspite of good amount of peaceful efforts she started not to follow what is expected from her. She wanted to do what she liked and all these likes were just momentary, she doesn’t understand but there is nothing to make her realize this as well.

But the father many times expects something else from her. He wants her to follow him because he knows what is actually good & correct. But the problem here is that she doesn’t understand this, even a slap wouldn’t have been enough to make her realize this. Probably she wouldn’t understand even with couple of more such slaps. So, the father actually has an option to slap a couple of times more to feed her with a fear factor, then there is a possibility that she would start following what her father or may be father-mother collectively wants from her; not always but at times of course.

If I take all the complexities away, I see here two humans as a part of some communication, a kid & a man. This kid wants to actually do something that she feels momentarily good about. Man too wants to get something done what he feels good about at this moment. There is no similarity in the wants of these people rather they are contradictory enough. There is a clash in the want factor of these two humans now. And yes they have a relation of being a father & a daughter.

This person always has an option to get everything done forcefully, kid doesn’t even know about it. Let’s say kid somehow knew about how to slap, in such a situation the kid also might have slapped this person. But the concern here is that the kid will do so without any sense of judging the good or bad whereas the person does it with all such senses. I sometime feel isn’t it merely a clash over our wants and wherever we feel that we can dominate, do it to get what you want!

Sometimes our inner self gets so willful that we do not realize how & when we become stubborn about small-small things. No matter how thoughtful or intelligence you seem to have acquired all you want is something that you feel obsessed about at this moment.

It definitely needs some more introspection, especially then, when we practice world of things to keep our senses in control. This situation was definitely not a scenario on the roadside about fighting for your own rights, where aggression is inevitable sometimes, dealing with our own kid may be requires lots of study and awareness. Time is changing and so our ways of accepting the values. Values still remain the same but the way is definitely not the same that we followed and we shouldn’t even think about trying to fix an old nail on the modern wall. Today we get interior done which wasn’t a common case in the earlier times.

I am not married; do not therefore have any possibility to judge the way a father could evaluate this. Somehow I myself felt lots of pain that day, help shedding few droplets, I was hurt may be more than this kid did. Din't feel like talking about it to anyone. I know it wasn’t for anything wrong but the pantry of mind hasn’t stopped reasoning since then. It is after observing something similar in the bus yesterday, how she handled her notorious son, all these emotions were elicited again.


Manas Garg said...

An observation is as much about the observer as it is about the observed.

Piyush said...