... the road to July!

15 April, 2007

To say it or not to?

It is such a common phenomena today that we find ourselves supplemented with someone or the other in our vicinity. This someone you meet could be the one you meet over the pool table regularly after your lunch, someone close to your desk inside the office, someone you meet over a monthly meeting in your city, someone who tracks your blog or whose blog you track quite regularly or someone you simply meet over the weekend regularly; be it just your friend.

The common factor here is the ‘regularity’. This regularity is something which is responsible for most of our habits and expertise.

Start reading a particular newspaper regularly; it makes your routine. Start writing regularly, a day without it will feel you incomplete, you start programming regularly there’s nobody that can stop you from developing good software soon or you start missing that bus regularly, there will hardly be any day that you would catch it on time.

And when we start meeting someone regularly, it is this regularity that brings in the sensation of emotions & feelings. And when this sensation becomes little bewildering, it is this regularity that dupes your consciousness now, you therefore, very much unknowingly end up sharing all sorts of big or small, routine or occasional, good or bad, logical or illogical, emotional or sensible experiences with that person (referred as supplement above).

Now of course over a period of time this would surely mean something, may be this would mean that emotionally you both will be getting closer, this would also mean that from now onwards whenever you come across any experience (similar to the ones that you have already shared with that person), you would crave for the same person to accompany you just as the way it did always.

And actually it is this regularity which heads us towards a possibility that makes this supplement so close that it can actually make it impossible to accept any distance between both of you. But there’s nobody who understands you and that’s by the law of nature. You come alone, you go alone and that too happens regularly. Look at it from the eyes of the God. Births and deaths are regular phenomenaJ.

This means that you get to learn enormously in your life with just the repetition of things that happen regularly. A person responsible for handling dead bodies at cemetery would hardly be scared midnights whereas a normal person would faint away with just the thought of passing that place in the night. It’s just the regular practice one is accustomed to.

But still there are things that don’t make any difference even if they happen regularly. Yes there are things like that. However many times you cut your finger, that particular knife will always do some mischief had it found a possibility of being used by you.

I’ve been definitely seeking some solution to a situation which I’ve now encountered several many times but every such time I’ve just been left intrigued to my deepest senses with no answer at all.

One such occasion this happens is when you find yourself getting into silly misunderstanding with somebody close to you, be he your husband, be she your daughter, be she your beloved, be he your very very close roommate for several years. And all this is the result of closeness, when we are close to someone, there are expectations (& don’t fool yourself around saying that you shouldn’t have them ideally coz they are natural). These expectations are very much natural unless you are a perfectionist!

So basically, all the non-perfectionist(s) have to face such occasions in their very much a regular life and its very normal, usual and okay to have.

Lets’ say you sense that an alliance (personal or professional) is not going to work out for long but you do not either want it to end (thinking of ending it in an indecent manner is certainly a distant thought) or to carry it forward. You also understand that it is nothing but some sort of misunderstanding yet the situation is out of your control. On the other hand you have several things in your mind which needs to be expressed, it may axe the relationship, or it may not. But how do you find what is the best way to go about?

So the biggest confusion almost every time is to decide whether ‘to say or not to?’ or ‘to confess or not to?’ in every uncontrolled situation.

To say whatever is in your mind or just to keep everything within you thinking had there been a possibility of understanding you wouldn’t have come to this stage.

There are times, when both the silent kid & not-so-silent (one who seeks serious attention) kid within yourself start questioning for the priority within you. And when we try judging them the both, both of them look semi-perfect. It then becomes even more difficult for just one you to come forward and take a decision.

I understand there might not be a standard solution but then there should be something that should ease out the way. I thought it should be silence but that too carries opposite meanings sometimes, God only knows!

1 comment:

Elaine Vigneault said...

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